i feel rather angry. why, you ask? well, the typical reason. mother. consistently insists on ‘confiscating’ my ipod, which i must admit is a rather effective form of blackmail, because with my ipod in her possession she can make me do whatever she wants, me being so pathetically dependent on my music for survival amidst my overly loud family.
okay, so, i feel like she really dislikes me. cuz i technically didn’t do anything—the story: my school asked me to play violin at a benefit dinner, like background music, so i figured my sister could help me out with her playing cello and we could play a few duets which is decidedly easier than me playing a bunch of solo’s. but then, my mother dearest gets it into her head that my cousin who plays viola (not very well) should play with us ALSO but thing is she’s not even *part* of the school and i have enough trouble getting my sister to play the right notes at the right time as it is, without the added trouble of getting my cousin to also play the right notes at the right time. and it’s in a week, and it’s up to *me*, as usual, to get everyone to sound at least halfway decent. so i tell my mother no. and then she flips, and calls me a snobby violinist. and confiscates my ipod. because my mother very much detests when people tell her no.
but, you know, it’s technically none of her beeswax so i’m a *little* bit pissed.
oh my god i finished watching all of the veronica mars episodesand i can’t believe they just LEAVE it there and don’t even resolve the freaking story line and oh my god WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE NOW???!!
so, stuck inside for the entire day, just because of this damn research paper. it looks so green outside, and there’s nothing i would love more than to just go on a really long, epic hike where things such as homework and having responsibilities other than surviving exist. but it’s not like that’s ever gonna happen, because even when i finish school, there’ll be things like a job, a house, mortgage, and hopefully even children—which is all comforting and whatever, but i just wish that once in a while we could experience absolute, complete freedom—not just in a physical sense, but morally, if that makes sense.
oh, and fleet foxes came out with a new album! very exquisite, and i am enjoying it immensely. also, it is fueling my desire for a long and epic hike. like in the andes or something. with a guitar. and a cool poncho. AND A LLAMA.
so yeah, it’s on pirated music, and of course my teacher was all hoity-toity and told me to switch my argument side so now i’m not arguing FOR pirated music but against it, which makes me feel all grimy and hypocritical… cuz let’s face it, i love music, but am also broke, therefore what other choice do i have but to download it for free? and now every time i download a song i’ll feel terrible for all those starving artists that i am not paying…
i kinda feel like i failed my ap euro final. but then again, i usually feel like i fail everything but then don’t, so perhaps this will be one of those crazily miraculous things and i’ll be like, ‘oh, so apparently i knew stuff after all’. WELL, i did kinda bullshit my way through the essays—made…
how do you think you did? I mean, I was ok in the MC and the DBQ lol one of my friends told us the topic before the break so we could review Q.Elizabeth stuff. lol. THAT was amazing.
but the frq’s ummmm im screwed. im so scared for the scores. :/
i honestly don’t know. most of the multiple questions i answered based on vague recollections, it wasn’t like ‘AHA i absolutely know this!’ so… it could go either way. for my second essay i did lenin and stalin, and i kinda made up a lot of stuff, same as the first essay—i’m just hoping that the crap i spouted held some glimmer of truth.
i kinda feel like i failed my ap euro final. but then again, i usually feel like i fail everything but then don’t, so perhaps this will be one of those crazily miraculous things and i’ll be like, ‘oh, so apparently i knew stuff after all’. WELL, i did kinda bullshit my way through the essays—made up a bunch of crap about romanticism, based on hunches that probably were very inaccurate—i mean, i called FRANKENSTEIN a romanticist work, ehhh…
oh well. i don’t feel like it’s over though… like gorbachev and the revolutions of 1848 and the tory regime, all that shit’s gonna haunt me forever… and i’ll have like one of those funky freud complexes where i’m stuck in that one phase, the phase of being over-stressed from ap euro.
anyway. so that was a boring spiel. but i’ve been celebrating the fact that I’M DONE! by basically not doing anything, pretty much watching veronica mars on netflix is all i’m capable of at this point.
i have to say though, a class of pain and torture sure is a great bonding experience. we prayed to the gods/goddesses of ap euro before the test, can’t say it did much for me but it was fun anyway.