my mother is mad at me. she is in new york, i am in south carolina, and somehow, we argue without actually seeing each other. this is a weird feeling. i don’t know. i said something that i honestly did not intend to hurt her with, but mama being mama she took intense insult. i really don’t want this year to go by with her being angry at me, but i’ve already apologized, or tried to, multiple times, with not much improvement … rather, she just becoming increasingly colder.
oh well. i guess i tried. i feel bad about it, sure, but like with all things, i seriously think that she is overreacting. but that’s my perspective and i’m sure that she lays all the blame on me.
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE FOLKS! i hope yours is going better than mine. :/
Black is beautiful. White is beautiful. Asian is beautiful. Hispanic is beautiful. Fat is beautiful. Skinny is beautiful. Gay is beautiful. Straight is beautiful. Bisexual is beautiful. You are beautiful.
can i just say that the fact that i’ve been spending the majority of this break doing homework, eating, watching crappy old disney movies (hello, hunchback of notre dame is like the most depressing/disturbing kids movie EVER) and sleeping is slightly anticlimactic. however, despite this, i do enjoy the incredibly nerdy sense of accomplishment that rushes in after completing the said endless homework…
i feel like my life is an infinite homework assignment. this is unfortunate.
right now i feel like i can’t wait to be free of being a teenager and dependent on my parents for every single thing. i have a huge family, so therefore we’ve got a few problems, but i don’t necessarily see those problems as “my” business, you know? i don’t want to be associated with all this craziness that isn’t technically mine, i want to walk into a place as my own person, not part of a living blob of family with a few throwing-tantrum children. i want to have my own place, my own kitchen, my own rules. my own life. that isn’t domineered by the needs of the family.
i want to be independent. and honestly, it’s way too freaking long until that time comes, in my opinion.
we’re in south carolina at the mo, everyone is here except for mama who is looking after the numerous animals. just now i was running around outside barefoot and in a t-shirt, so i guess that was a little bit weird-feeling, but also it doesn’t feel much like christmas at all. and i mean, even at home there isn’t any snow yet, so i guess it wouldn’t feel like christmas there either.
another thing, i just realized what a conservative state south carolina really is. we were driving along the highway and saw at least 20 signs that had something to do with religion. and sure, christmas is the birth of christ, but it’s a bit overwhelming. i don’t know. i’m all for believing in whatever you want, but … still. there’s no VARIATION in the belief around here, and i guess that is what i’m not used to.
we got a wii though, which is incredibly fun to play!